Funny Joke: the 12 days of Christmas

the 12 days of Christmas

My dear John,

Today, a delightful surprise greeted me at the door: a partridge nestled in a pear tree. What a wonderful and unexpected present!

With warmest regards, Agnes
December 15th

Dearest John,

Your charming gift arrived today – two turtle doves! Their presence is a joy to behold, and I am truly touched by your thoughtful gesture.

Fondly, Agnes
December 16th

Dear John,

Oh, the extravagance! Three French hens have just arrived, and they are absolutely precious. Your kindness is overwhelming, dear John.

With love, Agnes
December 17th


Today four calling birds were delivered. Their song is lovely, yet I worry this may be verging on too much of a good thing. Your romantic spirit is boundless.

Yours, Agnes
December 18th

Dearest John,

What incredible generosity – five golden rings arrived today! Each one is more exquisite than the last, a welcome change from the increasingly noisy birds.

Affectionately, Agnes
December 19th

Dear John,

This morning brought six geese a-laying right to my doorstep. Back to giving birds, are we? The geese are causing quite a stir. Please, no more noisy surprises!

Cordially, Agnes
December 20th


Seven swans a-swimming? Really? The mess and cacophony have become unbearable. I’m at my wit’s end with these birds. This joke has gone far enough.

Sincerely, Agnes
December 21st

Enough, John,

Eight maids a-milking was today’s gift. And with cows in tow! My home and yard are in shambles. Please, cease these outlandish surprises!

Frustrated, Agnes
December 22nd


Your gifts are bordering on the absurd. Now I have nine pipers playing, running amok with the maidens and wreaking havoc upon the otherwise peaceful farm animals. The neighbors are complaining and threatening legal action!

With annoyance, Agnes
December 23rd


Ten dancing ladies joined the chaos today, and the commotion escalated. The cows are in distress, and my home is in disarray. I am at the end of my rope, and the authorities will hear about this.

Furiously, Agnes
December 24th


I have no words for the eleven lords a-leaping that arrived today. The situation has spiraled into complete pandemonium. Consider this a declaration of war.

Angered beyond belief, Miss Agnes McCallister
Law Offices of Taeker, Spredar, and Baegar
303 Knave Street
Chicago, IL

December 25th


We regret to inform you that your most recent contribution of twelve fiddlers fiddling has brought about total devastation. Please direct all further correspondence to our office, as Miss McCallister has been placed in a secure facility where your presence is not welcome.

Please see the enclosed legal notice.

Lew Taeker, Partner

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