Thanks for the laughs
Upon commemorating his 90th anniversary, the esteemed Rajah of India ascribed his longevity to the ceaseless joy brought by superb comedy. Eager to express his gratitude, he dispatched invites to each comedian across the British isles for a sumptuous banquet at his royal residence. As jesters commenced their arrival, the Rajah greeted them at the threshold, his face alight with excitement at welcoming such luminaries as Billy Connolly, Stephen Fry, Simon Pegg, Suzy Eddie Izzard, Stephen Merchant, Craig Ferguson, and Jimmy Carr.
He informed the gathering that the night was yet young, and many more laugh-makers were en route. In the interim, he offered to conduct a palace tour. They marveled at the grandeur within its walls and then, the tour proceeding outdoors, the Rajah proudly presented his exotic ‘companions’—a menagerie of sharks, crocodiles, and venomous Banded Sea Krait snakes inhabiting his glistening, marble-crafted Olympic-sized pool. The jesters recoiled in shock, their ranks swelling as more of the UK’s comedic talents amassed.
“Behold, what a grand ensemble we’ve become!” the Rajah exuberantly proclaimed. He then posed a daring contest: “Whosoever can navigate the watery gauntlet from one end to the other shall receive a bounty—a million dollars, a Mercedes-Maybach, and the choice of a consort from my harem.”
No sooner had he announced this than a splash resonated, and they observed a figure tearing through the water with frantic strokes. The brave soul made the perilous journey, emerged triumphant on the opposite side, and was hailed by the Rajah. “My good man, you’ve exhibited unmatched valor. Pray, claim your richly earned rewards.”
Gasping for breath, Ricky Gervais scowled, “I’ll take your fortune, I’ll accept the automobile, but the one treasure I seek—the scoundrel who sent me plunging into the depths!”