Everyone knows Dave
Here’s a revamped version of your favorite joke:
Dave was always boasting to his manager, “Believe me, I’ve got connections with everyone. Just toss a name at me, and I’m sure I’ve got a direct line to them.”
His manager, growing weary of the incessant swagger, decided to test him, “Alright, Dave, since you’re so well-connected, let’s see if you know Tom Cruise.”
Dave flashed a confident smile, “A piece of cake, boss. Tom and I go way back, and I’ve got just the way to show you.”
They jet off to Hollywood, find themselves at Tom Cruise’s doorstep, and sure enough, when they knock, Tom Cruise yells out,
“Dave! What a pleasant surprise! How’ve you been? Come in, let’s catch up over some drinks!”
Though taken aback, Dave’s manager isn’t entirely convinced. As they depart from Tom’s place, he challenges Dave further.
He throws out another name: “How about Barack Obama?”
“Easiest one yet,” Dave boasts, and next thing they know, they’re arriving in Washington D.C. During a White House tour, Obama sees Dave, beckons him over, and warmly greets, “Dave! Didn’t expect to see you here! I’m heading to a meeting, but your buddy and you should join me for a drink first.”
Now the boss is truly rattled but harbors a shred of doubt. As they walk away from the presidential residence, he presses Dave once more, tossing out a name that he’s certain Dave couldn’t know: “The Pope, then. Prove you know the Pope.”
Dave just smirks and says, “I have faith we’ll say hello.” They travel to Vatican City, the home of the Pope.
Amid a sprawling crowd at St. Peter’s Square, Dave notes, “It’s going to be tough to catch the Pope’s attention in this sea of people. Hang on, I’ll slip through the back and join him on the balcony.”
Dave disappears into the horde and true to his word, after some time, emerges on the balcony beside the Pope, waving to the masses below.
However, when Dave makes his way back, pandemonium has broken out. He discovers his manager lying on the ground, medics swarming around.
Rushing over, Dave inquires, “Boss, what on earth happened?”
Lifting his head weakly, his boss whispers, “I was in shock when you and the Pope appeared. But the real kicker was when the person beside me nudged me and asked, ‘Who’s that standing next to Dave?’ That’s when I collapsed.”