A soldier returns home to his wife after a year-long deployment overseas.
He’s eager to demonstrate how he maintained celibacy for an entire year. Curious, she inquires, “How did you manage that?”
He boasts, “I’ve trained my manhood to obey command orders.” With that, he unfastens his belt and lowers his pants. “Private, ATTENTION!”
Immediately, his manhood stands to attention, ready for action. “Private, at REST!” And just like that, it relaxes and retreats.
Impressed, she decides to give it a go. “Private, ATTENTION!” she calls, and like magic, his manhood snaps up once more.
“Private, at REST!” she commands, and it complies, easing back down. “We must show this trick to our friend!” Excitedly, she brings over their young, attractive neighbor. She encourages the neighbor, “Give it a try!”
The neighbor issues the order, “Private, ATTENTION!” and predictably, his manhood stiffens.
“Private, at REST!” But to their dismay, it remains upright. Even with repeated commands, “Private, at REST!”
The man looks down, frustrated. “Private, at REST!”
The stubborn soldier refuses to stand down, so he scurries to the bathroom. His wife follows and finds him aggressively handling the situation.
Alarmed, she asks, “What’s going on?”
Between heavy breaths, he responds, “If the private won’t stand down, it’s time for a forced discharge!”
