In a small parish church, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest, Father Michael.
Father Michael asked the janitor, “Could you hop into the confessional and listen to confessions for me, just for a few minutes? I really have to go to the bathroom, and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance… so whatever she says, just give her 10 Hail Marys. I’ll be back in a flash and she’ll be none the wiser!”
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected, Widow McGee came into the booth and began her confession.
“Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable,” she said. “I have given into carnal thoughts and desires, and have had oral pleasure.”
Stunned, the pious janitor had no idea how to handle this predicament… surely just 10 Hail Marys would not do! He poked his head out of the curtain, looking around frantically for any sign of Father Michael. The only other person in he church was an altar boy, preparing for the next mass.
“Pssst! Hey son – what does Father Michael give for oral pleasure?”
The altar boy replied, “Uh… usually two Snickers bars and a Coke.”